Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The 7 rules of misstoffellees the adventure cat

We have a cat and she has taught many things about how to be a good cat host by carefully outlining for us the 7 rules that we need to know as her hosts and her servants.

First, When petting Misstoffellees, start at then tip of the nose and follow through to the tip of her tail in one single motion, apply the appropriate amount of pressure so as to provide a gentle massage at the sime time. Repeat until she bites. Then, stop.

Second,when she wants to go outdoors, one must open the door and walk away. That way, she can approach the door as she so desires, without any pressure or time expectations. Only after she has cleared the door way and front porch should the door be closed behind her.

Thrice, when she wants to come indoors, conversely, the door must be opened and left so until she decides to grace us with her presence. She should never be left to sitting outside a closed door wating to come in as that would be dog-like as seen as begging. This is simply not acceptable.

Fourth, when feeding Misstoffellees, one must place a handful of food in the bowl before she arrives, just as she is ready to approach the bowl. Once again, she does not wait or ask to be fed, as that would be seen as a canine level treatment.

Fifth, Misstoffellees requires that she be allowed to sleep wherever she chooses, and does not share with person nor beast.

Sixth, when one leaves one's chair returning to find her royal catness on the warm cushion, one must not disturb her from her resting place.

Seventh, when referring to her in public, one must use her full cat name - Misstoffellees the adventure cat - as this is a show of respect. All other "pet" names must be used judicously and privately so as not to embarrass or show inappropriate levels of conduct unbefitting a cat.